AWfUL! Comics

Do you remember way back when you were just a little kid, and your parents would beat you mercilessly? No? No, they did a good job of making you forget all of that, didn't they?

Stop crying, you little bungsucker.

I should go on to point out that while AWfUL! Comics may be back, the exact meaning of such a sentiment really doesn't hold any weight by way of a promise of updates. Though you didn't need me to tell you that, did you? Sitting there, all high-and-mighty on your throne that you've fashioned out of your thousands of "Most updated website of the week" awards. Well I've got news for you, kid. There's no such award. That's right, take a closer look at all those "awards" you've been resting your flabby arse on every day. That's right, they're small children encased in plastic. Yeah, it's all fitting together now, isn't it? Every week, I've been kidnapping a child, encasing them in plastic and shipping them to you under the guise of an award. And you've been sitting on them. Nice work, arsehole.

Anyway, enjoy the comic.

Lucas "Strange Half-Justice" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Remember kiddo, "Santa Claus" is an anagram of "Satan Lucas".

Merry Christmas.

Now go on, your gift is over there, under the mistletoe with creepy old Uncle Walter.

Lucas "Baubles" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Halloween - one of the best times of year for Halloween parties.

For those ladies out there who are headed out to a Halloween party but still don't have a costume, I've compiled a list of suggestions you might want to consider:

Sexy nurse
Sexy cat
Sexy rabbit
Sexy cheerleader
Sexy French maid
Sexy ghost
Sexy dominatrix
Sexy zombie
Sexy dominatrix zombie
Sexy scientist
Sexy nudist
Sexy slut
Sexy Lucas-humper
Sexy wine expert
Sexy rape victim
Sexy Colonel Sanders
Normal Colonel Sanders

These are preferred, but you may like to be a bit more creative, and try combining some of them, such as:

Sexy cheerleader scientist
Sexy cat wine expert
Sexy dominatrix Colonel Sanders
Normal Colonel Sanders Lucas-humper
Sexy rape victim Colonel Sanders

And so on.

Anyway, Mazel Tov, and have a finger lickin' Halloween.

Lucas "Mrs Sanders" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Dear Diary,

Today I made a comic.

Help me.

Lucas "Sieg" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

You've heard the saying "Beating a dead horse back to life", haven't you? No? Well it's time we brought that saying into common usage.

My name is Lucas Heil, and my Co-Pilot Tom Overend and I would like to welcome old friends and new to the freshly-revived website we once reigned supreme with. Finally back on the web due to constant nagging from our two fans, This is "AWfUL! Comics".

There are some kinks we're still working out, as the site has gathered a lot of dust in the three years that it has been sitting dormant. We'll get it tidied up as best we can over time, and hope you enjoy reliving those couple of really crappy comics you didn't bother to save to your hard drive due to them simply not being worth it in your naïve, young, inexperienced eyes.

Enjoy.

Lucas "Tom Overend" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Though it may not seem so, for the past five and a half years, AWfUL! Comics has been an absolutely massive part of our lives. Well, maybe not the last six months, but prior to that, it was a pretty big chunk of our "hobby time". We foresaw this day a long time ago, and have been living in a sense of semi-denial about it, but it's time to bite the bullet. AWfUL! Comics has reached the end of it's spin-cycle.

The early days of AWfUL! Comics were fun, simple times. Series 3, with the introduction of some form of ongoing tying-together plot was absolute hell for all involved, but it is definitely something with which we can look back on with a fairly confident sense of pride. But the slow trickle of comics has subdued to its last drop. It's time to put this baby to bed.

For those of you wishing to see what bigger and bolder endeavors we are stepping into, head on over to our new residence on the web at Heartless Corporation. Same comedy, now in MOTION!

The registration of our domain name here will expire someday soon, and these comics will be lost to the oblivion of cyberspace. Save them to your hard drive while you can. But we digress. It's time to move on, and fortunately, it's on to far bigger and better things for us. Thanks everyone.

It's been fun.

Lucas Heil & Tom Overend
Co-Producers of AWfUL! Comics

Really should update this place...

Tom "Bubbly" Overend
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Welcome, hairies.

Yes, we're aware that we're now well overdue for the next update. And it would be up by now if we hadn't ran into one little hitch. And that little hitch is that we haven't started making it yet. However, allow me to offer you an MP3 as a cop-out. I call it "A Statement About Techno". Get on over to the bottom of the OtherLand page and be the first on your street to have it occupying a small portion of your hard drive.

The fact that I wrote and recorded it three years ago is irrelevant. Stop whining and we'll get to the comic sometime this week.

Cheers,

Lucas "Stolen Generation" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

A UK man in his early twenties spotted an attractive woman in a cafe, took her away and, without her consent, had sex with her.

In court two months later, when being trialled for his actions, he stated "Jesus once said 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Are you saying that you know better than Jesus?". On these grounds he was let go uncharged.

The above story is fictional. It never happened. I made it up. And yes, it is preposterous that the man would be let off. The story suggests that to do what is morally wrong is okay. But it is not. What it all really boils down to is that we simply have better morals than Jesus. That's all.

Now that that's cleared your consciences, you can successfully enjoy the latest AWfUL! Comic without the usual dirty feeling afterwards.

Til next time, do that thing.

Lucas "& Co." Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

I'm not really dead, it was all a lie. Tom often makes things up. Most of the time it's an AWfUL! Comic though, so I forgive him for that.

So here we are, living in 2006, and what a year to be alive (my apologies to those fans who aren't). Even though Tom and I failed to get ourselves qualified into the FIFA World Cup Tournament this year, due to us not being twenty-two people, It's going to be a massive, nay, mondo year for AWfUL! Comics.

The FIFA line was Tom's. I stole it and reproduced it here so as not to have it go unwitnessed. Though being posted here, it will probably remain just that. Sorry Tom.

Oh, but the word "mondo" was my idea. God damn I rock.

Speaking of things that rock, BUY A FUCKING SHIRT FROM OUR STORE!

I guess I should perhaps elaborate on why this year is going to be so mondo. Well, we'll have a brand-spanking-new competition not too far off, a lot more of Tom's and my self-indulgent banter, an exciting event where you guys can give us a bit of a challenge, and more.

What more, you ask? Well, I'll just say one thing...

BOOK!!!!

That wasn't nearly cryptic enough, was it? Fuck.

Oh well, there's your new comic anyway. Enjoy the awesomeness. Until next time,

Jeers.

Lucas "Nickname" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Greetings Gatekeepers,

Did we all have a merry Christmas? Did Santa get us everything we wanted this year? No, because I actually wanted socks this year and it was the one thing I didn’t get. Curse you, Mother, curse you to heck!

Today we have a new comic. Isn’t Series 5 turning out to be grand? Copious amounts of comics and they’re rather good, aren’t they? This is another top-shelf comic for your eyes, a feast of magnificence if you will. Off you go, scope it out and then tell us how good you think it is

I can’t think of anything else to write but, hey, it’s not as if anyone actually reads these bits anyway. Yeah, YOU’RE ALL CUNTS. Ha, my little secret.

Well, have a Happy New Year, don’t go over the top on all the egg-nog and remember, you can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time unless you call it Religion. I mean, look at the Pope, he’s actually got people thinking Germans can be holy.

Cheers,

Tom “Lucas Heil” Overend
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Verily I lurk around this fine establishment.

Lucas here. I'd like to make it perfectly clear right here and now that Tom's previous mentions of me being dead and therefore too slack to do anything around here, are complete and utter bat-slosh. I may be dead, but I'm not lazy. I'm quite happy and healthy here in my afterlife state, and while I may not actually be in heaven as such, the waiting room is quite lovely, and they at least have heavenly service here. Except for the fact that this fucking computer's fucking mouse keeps fucking sticking. FUCK YOU, INFRA-RED PIECE OF SHIT! Yes.

Well, there's other people waiting to use this thing, in fact the waiting room is getting quite congested, so I'll go see if I can find out what's going on and leave you to it. Plus someone's dad is making fun of me.

Until my next update from beyond the grave, I wish you all a happy Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Xmas, Hacksmas, Boxmas, Lexmark, Hallmark, Ballpoint, Trademark, Deutcshmark, Annual-Gift-Period.

Cheers,

Lucas "The Meat" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Welcome, one and all.

I’ve been in living in Australia for the best part of eight years now and you know what I’ve noticed? The weather sucks. The winters are just a little on the cool side for anyone’s liking, the summers are too hot for anyone’s liking and autumn and winter just flick between the two extremes with no discernible pattern. Today, for instance is TOO FUCKING HOT to be doing anything at all other than lying naked in the walk-in fridge at work, which is exactly what I’ll be doing when I get there in an hour. I mean, who actually orders kebabs in this weather? Wogs, that’s who, but they’re barely human as it is so it’s easy to ignore their strident pleas for mercy.

New comic, lucky you. A golden oldie; old because we first thought it up in Legal Studies back in grade 11, golden because we have very low standards these days.

Have to be off for work soon so I can’t sit and chat, enjoy Christmas, that’s quite soon isn’t it? Anyway, best be off but remember, a dog isn’t just for Christmas, it can be for Birthdays and Easter aswell.

Cheers,

Tom “Skidmark” Overend
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

I don't really think I've taken the time to fully exert my pumped up administrative rights on this site, seeming as Lucas sadly passed away and went to a better(?) place. Suffice to say then, it's time for me to abuse his trust and my new found power as I tell everyone exactly why it is that I fucking hate Simple Plan so fucking much, fuck me dead, I hate them.

The lead singer from Simple Plan is pretty much Satan, although at least Lucifer has his own place whereas ol' Bitchcakes McWhinefuck probably still counts his money in mum and dad's basement. The comparison to the Prince of Darkness may seem a peculiar one but trust me, the similarities are uncanny and, as you look more into them, quite unnerving.

Okay, number one; Satan's entire existence is for sake of threat of torture. Why do Christians keep handing me all those fucking pamphlets? Because they don't want to be tortured (by Satan at any rate, coz' one of these days I'm gonna grab that Jehovah's Witness and shove his penis so far down his own throat, that when he pees, the urine gets locked in a neverending journey, round and round, all day long, for all eternity). Now, although the lead singer was not spawned from the murky depths of whatever darkness commissions the birth of such foul beings for the sake of torture, he does a pretty damn good job of it anyway, doesn't he now, ladies and gentlemen? With such mind numbingly poor songs of self-pity like 'Why does this happen to me?' and 'Welcome to my Life', it isn't long before any stable man would willfully claw out his own throat with his bare hands. Trust me, my brother listens to their music and if I wasn't wearing a turtleneck that day, I would be dead now.

More detail is begged for when touching lightly over the topic of the piss poor songs that they actually produce. Now, to be a band in the first place, it is at first assumed that you and your 'friends' have some vague concept of what is aesthetically pleasing to other people. A Simple Plan album lacks any form of recognition as to what it is that makes good music. Although somehow, singles manage to find their way into the charts, much the same way as sewage is slowly plunged into the drainage system by a plumber: One person just keeps pushing the shit until it gets somewhere.

Secondly, in their comparison to Satan, is of course the fact that Emo-Faggots everywhere idolise them. Simple Plan so cool and rebellious and no doubt stay up til eleven and yell at their dads and steal money from their mum's purse to buy Vodka Cruisers. They inspire 'individuals' (quite possibly the fastest growing trend-set currently circulating Western civilisation) to wear black, cut their hair ridiculously and practise the occult from books they bought on sale at K-Mart. They also wear stupid shoes, anyone else notice that?

Thirdly, the bible insists that Satan has the power to mimic God, but to only a fraction of the effect, much in the same way that Simple Plan has the power to mimic Blink 182, but emit shit as opposed to catchy tunes. I occasionally sing Blink 182 songs in the shower, they've got good tunes. The only time I think of Simple Plan in the shower is when I've accidentally trodden on dog shit and am trying to scrape it off.

That's another thing; it is quite clear that only one of the three guitarists in the band knows how to play the instrument, albeit poorly, and clearly teaches the other two chords to remember. The drummer, well, the drummer is on crack or something and the lead singer is the single worst sounding thing on the planet. Air-raid sirens find more welcoming reception than the shrill whining tone of that incontemptible fuck who has the audacity to stain the term 'artist' with his no doubtebly 'cool' American name. Wait a second, I'll look up his name...

Fuck me dead, his name is PIERRE BOUVIER. He's French? Man, you don't even have to try with these guys, they just hand you their shrivelled dignity on a platter alongside the knife you'll use to cut it up with.

Here is a quote from their website: In the end, the band speak best though their lyrics, and during “Shut Up” when Bouvier sings, “Nothing you say today will ever bring me down,” it’s not calculated rebellion—it’s the truth. So, whose side are you on?

I want to kill them.

Oh yes, my last comparison to Satan; If Little Nicky was anything to go by, they're both going to have fucktard kids that look a little too much like the really gay guy from Will & Grace.

I've ran out of good things to write and I'm bored now. Occupy yourselves with something better. If, however, you wish to contest the fact that Simple Plan are God's latest plague upon this Earth, please e-mail me so I can respond with a pre-written letter about what a fairy-faggot you must be.

Toodles.

Tom "Wheatgrass" Overend
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Dear Komrades

Nice to see you, to see you, nice. I bet that doesn't ring a bell to any of you, because I can barely recall where I heard it either, but knowing me, it was one of the Two Ronnies.

Lucas is dead, so rumour has it and therefore I'll be, as they say, holding the 'fort' until he becomes bored of residing amidst the undead.

So, you may ask, where is this new comic, Tom? Show to us this thy graphical anthology of everything that is good and proper; show us this awe-inspiring collage of genius that will inflict purity upon the heart of lost souls! Oh Tom, retain us no longer and unleash your irrefutable godliness on our naive, unenlightened minds! FREE US FROM THE INFERNAL IGNORANCE THAT PLAGUES THE VERY ESSENCE OF WHO AND WHAT WE ARE! GIVE HIGHER MEANING TO THE INCONSEQUENTIAL PLIGHT OF THE COMMON MAN AND OVERCOME HIM IN A WAVE OF SPIRITUAL GLORY! SEND TO US THY HOLY COMIC! SEND TO US!!!

It’s here.

Nothing else to say really, I was going to upload a new wallpaper but I lost interest halfway through and decided against it. Maybe tomorrow.

Well, like a man locked in a trash compacter, I’m running out of space. Savour the update, enjoy your Christmas and remember, the best things in life aren’t always free, sometimes you have to steal them.

Cheers,

Tom “Teacup” Overend
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Remember when you were a child? Remember when your mother would buy you a pack of jubes and you swore to yourself that you would make them jubes last you the rest of the week by sucking them slowly and under no circumstances would you chew them? And then how five minutes later, you’d be peering excitedly into the microwave at a bowl of melting jubes?

We’ve uploaded the third comic from our pre-made stash and we think you’ll like it. But hey, what do we know about that sort of thing? We probably would’ve been for the Chernobyl disaster if you could’ve voted on it. Anyway, it’s not our job to decide whether or not the comics are good, have your say on the forum so we can shut you down and tell you what inconsiderate jackasses you all are. Really, we live for it.

Well… nothing else to mention really… We did upload another advert on the little sidebar to your left but we’re not telling you which one so you’ll have to keep bashing F5 until something catches your eye.

That’s about it from us for this week, enjoy the holidays, don’t do drugs and remember, never judge a book by its cover, unless it’s Red Rabbit by Tom Clancy. There’s twelve bucks I ain’t getting back. Enjoy your jubes.

Tom “Diabetic” Overend
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics

Welcome back for yet another exciting installment of AWfUL! Comics.

Tom didn't mention it in our last update, but we're planning on updating this thing about once every two weeks from now on. In fact we got a little impatient this time round and have brought you an update in only one week, so as long as we keep to our word from herein, you can't give us any lip about not updating, or we'll turn around and give you more lip than Oprah Winfrey (arse joke).

So, what's new this week? Well, for starters, as mentioned, a new comic, which we would very much like you to give us feedback on at the AWfUL! Blah. Though they're not up yet, we hope to have the old competition entries up for you to gaze upon by next update, and speaking of which, if you haven't voted already on the format of our next competition, head over to the blah and give it a bash. We also have a trendy new wallpaper over at OtherLand. Not to mention a frightening new addition to our online store, an Elvis Tour Shirt. So what are you waiting for? Oh right, for me to shut up. Gotcha. Sorry.

Cheers.

Lucas "Four-Arse" Heil
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

In the slightly altered words of everybody's favourite 80s pop-culture war-robot; "Series 5 is alive!" But unlike old Johnny, AWfUL! Comics Series Five has not been funded or commissioned by the United States military and it is not trained to kill you. Any subsequent death is therefore your own problem.

It's been a long time, hasn't it? A massive void in your lives as you sat waiting patiently for the dream that never came, but have no fear my dears, we're back. Oh boy, are we back, we're more back than Oprah Winfrey (arse joke) and we're here to stay, what with our hot new website and all. The new website boasts more features than my trendy new Space Kettle and that's only in the admin section. Seriously guys, all the good stuff is only in the admin section. Sorry.

You know us though, we're not the type to keep all of the fun to ourselves and we aim to use our trendy new features to entertain you, the fan(s). Comics will be updated more regularly thanks to our new, state-of-the-art "upload" button (again, only in the admin section, sorry), there'll be plenty more things for you to do in the form of the exciting new OtherLand section and the Online Store will be updated with exciting new items that will never be bought. AWfUL! Comics: Series 5 - Bigger, Better... Good.

So take a browse, have a laugh, share the fun, vote Labor and most of all, don't read while on my toilet because I sure as hell don't shit in your library.

Cheers.

Tom "Sundance" Overend
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

At last, the comic containing the winners of the 2004-2005 AWfUL! Comics competition is here! Congratulations once again to the winners, thank you sincerely for your continuing patience with this frightening world we call AWfUL! Comics, and we look forward to your patronage in Series 5, coming not so soon to a monitor near you!

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

The Wilfred Kitten tour shirt mentioned by Tom in last update's news has been scrapped, due to it being shit. Like anyone cares - nobody buys anything from the online store anyway. Other than me, Tom, and two of our loyal fans. Thanks guys, we love you.

A lot of people may have noticed a little problem with our site seemingly not existing half the time due to the server we're hosted on being down more than it is up. To rectify this problem, we're working on having our comics hosted at http://awfulcomics.deviantart.com so that fans can always get to our latest comics. We're still slowly and gradually uploading the back-catalogue to that site, so bear with us, and please try not to ruin the "Who Killed Hero Stabber?" case for AWfUL! newbies. That's just shithouse.

I've started an interesting poll on the AWfUL! Blah which will primarily influence the way an upcoming online AWfUL! event is run. Check it out and have your say. As for a certain other fan-initiated poll, lets just say we'll be addressing your concerns as best we can in the near future, and have actually touched on them in this latest comic.

For those of you expecting this update to be the big exciting Series 4 conclusion featuring the winners of the competition, you're wrong in two aspects. Firstly, this comic doesn't feature those people, and second, this isn't the last comic of Series 4. Now who's feeling stupid?

Shut up.

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

You may have begun to see a pattern.

Some of you may have assumed that the time in between AWfUL! Comics must be because we're in the process of making a very detailed, high quality comic. In fact, it's the other way around. Usually we don't put up a new comic for months because we've just finished a very detailed, high quality comic and therefore are feeling completely shagged out and bored with each other's company.

Well, we're back now, and we've spent half the day concocting this little number, which we actually started in October last year but had never got around to finishing. As you may see, this comic is rather detailed and of reasonably high quality, so for those reasons, please do not expect another comic until early 2006. Any whiners will be lynched.

Speaking of productivity, the shop is to be updated with a fetching Wilfred Kitten tour shirt that just screams "I rock so bad my mates call me Parkinson" and whose design contains the word 'Tit'. Scientists say that a sense of humour is a sign of intelligence.

Well, like a deaf and blind drummer in a band, I'm out of time, sleep beckons and it's wearing a naughty little camisole so I must see to it this instance. Until next time kids, don't rape strangers, even if they offer you candy.

Tom Overend.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

New comic. New Fan art. Competition voting closes soon. On behalf of the magical world of AWfUL! Comics, I'd like to wish you all a thoroughly bountiful Valentines day for the 14th. May it bring you much bounciness.

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

No new comics. Just letting you know that the competition has closed and voting on the entries has now officially started. I'm slightly drunk from new years celebrations as I post this, and want to get back to it, so just check out the 2004 competition entries and shut up. Oh, and Happy New Year.

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

If you listen carefully, you can hear the comics screaming. Screaming to be put out of their misery.

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

.scimoC !LUfWA fo recudorP-oC.
dnerevO moT

!!!!MEHT HTIW UOY EKOHC EW EPOH !SETADPU TNEUQERF GNIKCUF RUOY S'EREH ,THGIR S'TAHT ,HAEY

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, HERE'S YOUR FUCKING FREQUENT UPDATES! HOPE WE CHOKE YOU WITH THEM!!!!

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

If all goes well, you should be thoroughly concerned and freaked out right now. Three updates in four days? What is the meaning of this?!?

We just wanted to screw with your heads.

Lucas and I keep failing to mention whenever we add a new product to the online store. And today will be no exception, because we haven't added any new products to the online store. Or have we?

No, we just want you to go there and buy stuff. Come on people, Christmas is coming! Spread some cheer!

Also, due to requests from our fans (gosh we love em!), we've compiled a backlog of all the previous "Latest News" articles for this series, and appended them to the bottom of this page. God knows why you fans would want to read back on old news, but hey, anything for hits, right?

Tom Overend.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

Well, it's been two whole days since the last update, so we thought we'd best get off our lazy arses and bring you a new comic. Sorry it took so long, but we've been quite busy, if you can't already guess.

There's also been a new addition to the fan art section, and the competition is still running until November 30. So go have fun, post in the Blah, and.....yeah, that's about it.

Oh, and if you advertise for our site, we'd be interested to know about it! Any delightful stories, photos or videoclips ofyour handywork will be greeted with open arms and thighs. And regret@awfulcomics.com is the place to do that.

Good-o.

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

Fine. Laugh it up you merciless cretins. Yeah, we were slack. We were always going to be slack, and you know what? We enjoyed being slack! Yeah, it was good. We sat back, ate fruit and drank coffee AND IT WAS GOOD.

I could go on and on about how Lucas and I have busy schedules, bursting work lives and unrelenting social engagements, but quite frankly, we've just been distracted by better things, of which there are plenty, ranging from new computer games to surprisingly flexible paperclips. But even stationary equipment gets boring, so here we are with a new comic, our gift to you loyal followers.

In addition to Comic 4 we also are proud to announce the Advertising section officially open. This is where you, the unfortunate viewer, can seek revenge upon your fascist local councils by plaguing their beautiful town walls and buildings with hideous sheets of A4 paper. Just in time for Christmas too.

You'll be in various levels of emotion to know that the competition closing date has been postponed until 30th November, great news for those who need just a tad longer, but more tedious, sleepless nights for those who have submitted comics. All four of you.

Well, in the style of Australian bus services, we're late with our promise, but when it finally comes, there is two of them and you can expect that second bus within the next two weeks. But until then, happy deer hunting and remember; don't squat with your spurs on.

Cheers,

Tom Overend.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

This comic's been ready for uploading since about five days ago. The only thing holding this update back was organising the final details for the competition, and rebuilding the message board. Anyway, both of those have now been set up, so get in there and feel the love.

You may also be delighted to see that due to suggestion by one of our fans, we now have a fan art section. It's looking a tad empty at the moment, so please, unleash your artistic side and unleash it upon us!

Oh, and please, if you want to encourage us to continue with this trend of updating slightly more frequently than we used to, the one thing that will boost our enthusiasm is if you show enthusiasm back. So tell all your friends, get out there and advertise for us. And drop us a line any time on the message board or at regret@awfulcomics.com to show your support. Or extreme hatred.

On a final, less important note for this update, you may notice that the name of comic #2 has changed from "Metamorphosis" to "Secret". This was an executive decision made this update, because I felt that "Metamorphosis", although a good description for it, just didn't seem quite right. I think you'll agree that "Secret" is a far better name anyway. Adds a little depth, I think, but it's a personal thing, really. If you wanna call it "Metamorphosis" go right ahead. Really, who gives a shit?

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

You know, when Lucas and I sat down and wrote the final News piece for Series 3, we mentioned something along the lines of 'it will be so much easier without the cohesive plot'. When we wrote that, I merely thought it was just a little white lie to account for two years of complete lethargy, but as we start spinning out comics every few days and as we actually meet a deadline (albeit an unofficial one), I'm starting to think that it was all true.

You may be asking, 'If you didn't like Series 3, why did you start it?'. Well little boy, it's like when you nip off to K-Mart and buy one of those big containers of Pick-Your-Own lollies. Series 3 was the equivalent of a large one of those filled to the brim with Strawberries & Cream candy. Very nice in sporadic doses, but by the fiftieth chew you're getting sick and tired of them.

Luckily, Series 4 is a moderately sized snack bar of opportunity, freedom, creativity and savoury snacks. We're very happy to be back off track and we like to think you are as well. We couldn't do this without you, the fans. Actually we could, you do piss all but complain and beg for updates, but it wouldn't be as fun.

So here you go you esteem-sucking bastards, here is your update. Now eat it.

Oh, and you may have noticed that the message board is down. Me too. Long story short, message board server crashed, many message boards were lost and ours was one of them. Lucas will have a new one set up shortly, so you'll have to make do with standing on your roof and yelling through a rolled up newspaper in the meantime.

Also, we'll be launching our NEW COMPETITION next update, so stay tuned for our special new rules and whatnot. We've got an interesting twist planned, as well as an actual existent prize this time, so don't go dying or you'll miss out.

Cheers,

Tom Overend.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.

Well, here we are at the beginning of a new series. Not only that, but as you can see, the whole website has been given a revamp, with brand new sections and features to make the site just that bit more satisfying to visit. Well, it looks good for Tom and I, on our enviable 1024x768 resolution monitors, and that's really all that matters, seeing as we're probably the only people that actually visit the site anyway.
Why not prove me wrong, by posting a message on our new message board, "The AWfUL! Blah"? Or by buying something from our new online store, "The AWfUL! Corner Shop"?

No? Fuck you then.

Also, we thought it might be a nice thing to offer a notification service from now on. That's right, no more disappointment and weeks of crying when you visit the site only to find it's not updated. Enter your email address in the box on the menu to your left, and we'll send you an email notifying you whenever we upload a new comic. How's that for class?

We hope you enjoy series 4 of AWfUL! Comics just as much as we enjoy making it. Actually, more so. We often get sick of making the fucking things.

Best of luck,

Lucas Heil.
Co-Producer of AWfUL! Comics.